The clock struck midnight and my house was pierced with a monastic solitude. I remember feeling a prickly anxiety -- the kind that begs for distraction because it is seemingly so hard to bear. ...I was on my iPhone texting with my brother-in-law, Rob McNamara… I was expressing to Rob my positive feelings about a shift occurring in my life related to decreasing hours at my full-time job.
With excitement and encouragement, Rob supported my decision and then proclaimed these haunting words from his published book entitled, "The Elegant Self": "Once the presence of elegance is discovering you an unrelenting and un-wielding commitment must be born between you and your lover if you are to know the secret throne." In his own magically shape-shifting manner, Rob turned on a dime from the sacred to the profane and invited me to come over and hang for some late-night brotherhood connection (via the Xbox 360) to which I playfully responded, "Though I'm tempted, I have to say not tonight, honey." The truth was that I was getting pretty darn tired and I was also feeling like I needed to soulfully attend to his quote. His words shook me and I knew I needed to listen more deeply.
So, while we continued to text, I leaned in a bit more -- engaging with light dialogical touches the voice of "elegance" my bro was speaking about. Of course, the part of me that likes a good chase wrote back to Rob saying, "So how long shall I let her pursue me?" And, Rob, putting his iPhone Yoda voice on said, "To pretend that it is your choice is the folly." At that precise moment, a still, quiet presence entered the room and in the span of no longer than three quarters of a second she delivered her sweet homily. It was one word and her voice sounded so familiar I initially wrote it off as my wife dropping by on her way to a late-night bathroom visit. However, when I turned around, there was not a soul there. What?!? Quickly, I shook off the convulsions of fear that swept through my body and made my way to our bedroom where I witnessed my wife and youngest son in a deep sleep. Wait a second! If my wife was asleep, then from whom did this voice emerge????
As I sat with this further (from a state of calm) and put this experience in the context of the unfolding text conversation with Rob -- the visitor's identity became painfully clear. "Elegance" was making known her presence. And while I wish I could deliver a profound and lengthy narrative on her visit to me, I have to be honest and tell you that all she said was, "Hi" and then like a thief in the night, she vanished! …And that was enough. She literally had me at "hi." …And so the unrelenting commitment to her was born…
I share this story with you to elucidate a point. "The Great Self" has many partners and many voices. If we pay attention the voice of calling will pursue you. But once you apprehend her, there is no turning back. You must make your way forward to the "secret throne," trusting that this is your essence and your destiny.